i became weaponized

I tied words around my biceps and abdomen 

so that i might pull them from the sheath and 

toss them like daggers. 

The curve of my pen 

sliced the skin, 

removing chunks of viscera, 

cardiac mishappenings; 

the ink flowed in a steady arsenic movement 

from constructed context 

to 

ambivalent inevitability. 

Syllable after syllable, 

thought after thought, 

I used my mental weaponry in 

constant battle against 

any hint of foe 

until I realized there was 

no winning this war. 

My opponents were armed with 

indestructible walls 

closing them in, 

protecting them, 

bending my knives 

until they bounced off and came back to sting me. 

As the poison begins to seep through my veins, 

I realize I have become my own downfall.