It’s been
years since I was open to the vulnerability of being in a relationship with
someone else. I haven’t seen that person
in almost six years. But there’s someone
in my new office that looks so much like him.
Every time I see this new person I feel myself drawn to him, even though
we’ve sat in the same office together but never exchanged a word. I know it’s only because of the superficial similarities
to someone I thought I once loved, but I can’t help but wonder. If we shared the same language, if we could
easily communicate, would I be less frightened of the possibility of being hurt
again? Would I give this new person a
chance? Would he even be interested in
my quandary?
Love may be a many-splendored
thing but it’s also equivalent to mental abuse.
The high and the low of mind-altering drugs.
He likes crossword puzzles… this new person…
I like crossword puzzles too. Is that
enough to start a conversation over?
You
know, the answer to Four Across is what brings most women pure joy. Maybe we
could sample some together? No… I’ll
just go to my house, have some carrots, and cozy up to the lovely paper smell
of… my electronic book reader. That seems like such a strange thing to miss, but I miss the smell of books. Such a simple luxury. And less complicated than the tangled web of my own human interactions. It's much more pleasant to read about someone else's misery and joy. I will stay safe in my box of my own creation, safe from pain.
Safe from ...
