Sounds of silence

I lie in the quiet
in search of peace.

There is none.

I feel my lost thoughts
take on physical manifestation
like ants
stealing unbidden on my arms.

I pinch them into a silent death
but they return
stealthy
hunting out the sweet meat in my bones
the sustenance to keep them alive
with purpose.

I walk without destination
seeking solace in movement.
I count my steps
feet falling in sequential inevitability. 

Still I am pestered
by concerns that defy articulation.
The prison of my isolation
is a blessing I sometimes wonder at
but still manage to crave
my drug of choice
that saves me the pain of abandonment the catch being
I can never abandon myself
my doubts and prejudices
my predilection for self abasement.

Ah the silence
that is ever full
of internal noise!